Jeremiad: On the Accidental Genius that was Halo 1

Everyone talks about the Halo trilogy as if it’s some amazing thing. Now before we go any further let me make clear I’ve played more than my share of Halo. I’m not a hater, more like a jilted lover.

At any rate, even the tiniest child can make fun of the science fiction mishmash that was the last two story campaigns, or say, the sloppy, half-rate job Bungie did in redoing Halo 2 from its original exciting trailer to the un-rendered cutscene joke and gameplay letdown that it turned out to be. The stunning mediocrity of H2 and H3 makes it abundantly clear that the multiplayer brilliance of H1 was a pure accident!

Moreover, no accident were the laughably bad three (yes, three, I know what I’m talking about) repeat campaign levels-out of ten in Halo 1, this makes about a third of the campaign a product of laziness. Were we willing to forgive them? Sure. But no one ever listed Two Betrayals, Captain Keyes, or The Maw as exciting levels, since you were just doing what you had already done backwards.

As for the multiplayer, this also was a total accident. The pistol was an unbelievable weapon, the first of its kind for a FPS. It was revolutionary in that this weapon meant that with a certain learned skill (using a pistol, which was quite hard considering you have to lead them, strafe, and try for headshots) you could give yourself a fighting chance to beat anyone else on the map.

What this meant was that the jerk hogging the rockets could get owned by you even if you just spawned. This also further divided the best from the rest, as any poor sap who’s played H1 against anyone good will tell you. They will complain about how it’s not fair, the pistol IS JUST TOO POWERFUL, and they can’t handle it. What they really mean is that they can’t handle your game, YOU ARE TOO POWERFUL, and this hurts their already frail ego. What they want is some button-mash game where a neophyte can pick it up and play with the best- i.e. they expect a competitive video game to be like nothing else competitive.

Reflect, for a moment: do you expect to be good at martial arts having never had a lesson? With just as much justification you could complain about judo chops from some black belt as being too powerful. But, as with Halo, the master would only laugh at you.

At any rate in H2 the pistol was gone, replaced with the Battle Rifle. Also gone was the necessity to lead your shots, due to the massive infusion of auto-aim into the game engine. The Battle Rifle was also weaker, shooting less far and taking four perfect shots to kill, not three, and these shots took longer. Add to this mix the unbelievably silly Sword and melee attacks that could kill in two hits, and you have a slugfest. Gone is the weapon of a more refined age. . .all that’s left is an uncultured tool running around with the sword.

Of course there was also the plasma pistol + Battle Rifle combo, which was slightly more credible but a joke as well, as the plasma pistol would almost never miss, and all you had to do then was hit then once in the head. In short, in H2 the role of the ‘skill’ weapon was drastically reduced, even in a Slayer Pro game type where you start with a Battle Rifle, and what was left was an FPS not important for any gameplay reason, but rather only infamous for its amazing underperformance, and a remarkably clunky and thoughtless online interface (for example only letting you choose Bungie’s game types unless invited to a custom game with friends). Add to this the nickel-and-dime tactics of the world’s most sinister corporation in selling you some extra maps (which were either uninspired or H1 remakes, like Warlock) and you’ve got a sour taste in your mouth.

This trend only continues in H3, where Bungie apparently decided to throw as much cutting room floor material into the game as possible. This merits little to no response. No one is impressed by the Warthog, or the Spartan Laser, or the pistol and assault rifle returning. If anything it just makes the game even worse from a gameplay perspective, and lets it look sloppy while continuing its tailspin. In sum, let this be a tale of hubris and ignorance- a company unwittingly made the most complex and deep FPS of all time, then frittered away that reputation even with its most dangerous fans. This is, to my knowledge, the only honest and intelligent review detailing the trainwreck of the Halo franchise.

-Alex Hufford